Another doctor's appointment today. I'm 50% effaced and 1 cm dilated. Although I'd like to think this is indicating progress (I was 50% effaced last week but not dilated at all), I know that this marks the start of the waiting game, and I could go on like this for another four weeks before starting active labor.
I'm feeling ambivalent about the start of labor. We have our birth class this weekend and we need to do a couple last things around the house, so part of me feels that anytime after Sunday would be good. (Make a note of that, will you, baby?) But my last day of work is next Friday, and it would be so nice to have at least a few days of just lazing about the house relaxing before I bring home a newborn and never sleep ever again.
I'm usually dreadful at the waiting game. I like to have a set schedule and know what is happening when. So I'm surprised that I'm not more stressed out about this. Maybe I'll feel differently in a couple weeks, but right now my attitude is kind of Zen. He'll come when he comes, and there's not much I can do about it one way or another. The last thing I want is to be induced and have it lead to a series of medical interventions culminating in a C-section that would have been unnecessary had I waited a few more days to go into labor on my own. Don't get me wrong, I'm tired of the constant backache and I'm dying to remember how it felt to get out of bed without a massive effort, but I'm trusting my body will do what it needs to do when it needs to do it.