another half-hearted attempt

Whoo, it has been a long time, hasn't it? Part of the reason has because I've been insanely busy at work--the kind of frantic schedule only the genius posses and the insane lament. I've been stressed and frustrated, and 99% of that had to do with things going on at work, and I still uphold my vow never to blog about work.

But if I'm honest, there's maybe another reason. I thought when I got pregnant I'd obsessively chronicle everything on this blog, like Sundry does so brilliantly. But the truth is, I've enjoyed keeping my pregnancy to myself. This is such a special time--for these months, I have my son completely to myself. I'm finding it to be a private kind of joy. And even more than that, how do you even begin to find words to explain how miraculous it is to feel another living being moving inside your body? It is the best thing in the world, better than sex, better than ice cream. And that doesn't even begin to cover it. The only thing that even starts to compare is the expression on my husband's face when he feels our boy kicking away.

There are some parts of pregnancy which are less exciting, and I'll make you a helpful list here.

1. You've never really experienced temperatures in the triple digits until you've experienced it pregnant. Between the already-raised body temperature and the swelling, being outside for even ten minutes is a very special kind of torture. Thank god I live in an age of air conditioning.
2. Due to hormones and the fact that my uterus is exponentially larger than it was 6 months ago, the bottom system acts a little strange. I'll run to the bathroom in a restaurant, and when I come out some minutes later, R always has a very concerned look on his face. "Are you okay?" he asks. "I was getting worried." At times like this I have the desire to sew a beach ball to his internal organs and time how long it takes him to take a crap.
3. Gas. 'Nough said.
4. Heartburn. Ditto.
5. Feeling the baby move is amazing. Feeling the baby kick you in the bladder while you're in the car--no less amazing, but it changes the situation from "Anytime you want to stop I could use the bathroom" to "Holy hell, stop this car right now."
6. Gas. Guess not enough was said.
7. Cravings don't go away with the first trimester. Fortunately, most of my cravings these days seem to be for salad. Unfortunately, those cravings which aren't for salad are invariably for chocolate and/or ice cream.
8. My house is a disaster area, and instead of just being ashamed, as I used to be, I find myself panicking. My god, I think. I can't have the house be like this with a baby! We can't have piles of papers and books lying around everywhere! I guess the nesting instinct is starting to kick in. But you know what would be awesome? If the nesting instinct didn't kick in just as the third-trimester energy drain also kicked in (about a week early, I might add). I look forward to many evenings of sobbing while I frantically dust the piano and shuffle papers around.