Bittersweet

A few weeks ago, my (rockin' awesome) dentist said that when his son got his first teeth he was sad: his baby was growing up. At the time, I thought "You may be rockin' awesome (and you are, you are!) but that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." Except now, Sammy has three teeth. They popped through all at once, and suddenly I'm all verklempt. The days of the gummy grin are numbered. How much longer before those teeth are obvious? A week? Maybe two? We're going today to get his picture taken--and it feels like I'm taking the last pictures of my baby before he turns into a little boy.

Oh, I know. We've got a long haul before he stops being a baby. For one thing, I'm pretty sure that one doesn't get to qualify as a big boy unless one is out of diapers. He's not walking yet (although I'm not taking any bets on how much longer that will take--he's already using a box as a walker, and his stride-to-ride lion should arrive in a few days). He can't clap his hands, and he sure as hell can't use a spoon. But he can say "dada" and occasionally "mama." I think, although I can't be certain yet, that when he says "Ih-eeee!" he means kitty. He can put his rings on the stacker, and he's starting to figure out how to put one object inside a larger one. Every day brings something new, and as much as I love seeing this little person emerge, I'm going to miss my baby. Oh, how I'm going to miss that baby. 

They always say that nothing can prepare you for how incredibly hard motherhood is, and that is pretty much gospel truth. But what no one old me was that nothing can prepare you for how bittersweet it is--how you yearn for the next new stage, how much you love seeing them explore their ever-expanding world, how you cheer them on at every single step while at the same time missing the sweet sleepy newborn, the wobbly sitter, the exuberant army-crawler, all those funny fleeting stages. 

Although I'm pretty damn sure I won't miss diapers when that storied day comes along.

Comments

[yvonne]

Awww.

[caramama]

I always thought people were silly for getting so worked up about the natural progression of children getting older and hitting the milestones. I no longer think people are silly for that. It surprises me again and again.