wealhtheow

Naptime and the patriarchy!

I'm finding that as nice as it is to relax with a cup of tea or hot chocolate when Sammy is napping, I feel better if I use the time to get something done around the house as well. Fold the laundry, or load up the dishwasher, or wipe the counters--just something so I feel like I'm making some progress and doing something useful. Which is kind of crazy now that I think about it, because what could be more useful than taking care of the baby? But living in a messy house is starting to drive me a little crazy, so I'm doing what I can to change the way we live.

I'm not necessarily 100% comfortable with the gender-specific roles Rick and I have fallen into, but it's what works right now. I know after he's done with school he'll start to pitch in a little more again. It's not like he's not doing anything--he takes care of the cat's litter box, usually does the trash and helps out with the laundry. I just get a little resentful that after a full day of taking care of the baby and cooking dinner I get to clean up the kitchen as well. But with Rick still working on his dissertation that's often the only time he gets to spend with the baby--and I'd rather have him playing and bonding with Sam than cleaning the kitchen. I know at some point we'll reach a happy medium with the chores, but nothing is more important than Sam knowing both his parents love him and want to spend lots of time with him.

Next week Sam gets his Valentine's pictures taken. I'm taking advantage of all the introductory studio deals I can get my hands on. He has a nice new outfit for the occasion, and hopefully he'll cooperate by giving one of his fabulous smiles. It's absolutely amazing to see my father's smile on my son's face.

Pro-Choice is Pro-Life

This morning we were driving in* behind a car that had a bumper sticker reading "Smile! Your mother chose life!"

I'm really grateful that my mom did choose life. But I'm no less grateful that she had the choice. One of the mottos of the pro-choice movement is "Every child a wanted child." I think that's something we can all get behind.

*Yes, I've given up the ghost and we're taking the car in for my last two weeks of work. I'm too huge and cranky to deal with public transportation and the incessant awful delays that plague WMATA.

Gee, thanks Alice Paul!

I totally forgot about this until Mimi Smartypants dropped a line about "an eavesdropping session that made me feel stabby with feminist rage," and then I remembered. Feminist ranty gold!

The other day I was standing in line waiting for the bus when a woman came up to me asking me to sign a petition to get Hillary Clinton on the Virginia primary ballot. Now, Hillary has done some stuff in the past to make me not overly anxious to vote for her (bitch should have showed some ovaries and been at the March for Women's Lives), but I have enough sisterly solidarity to want to see her on the ballot, so I happily signed.

The young woman behind me in line refused to sign, which is perfectly okay. But the reason she gave got my blood boiling. "I think my boyfriend would probably kill me." The woman holding the petition said calmly, "He doesn't need to know. It's your right to decide whether to sign or not." She wound up not signing.

Lady. If you don't want to sign the petition, say so. You are entitled to make and own your decisions. If you're really not signing because your boyfriend would be mad, dump that bastard. The 19th Amendment guarantees that you have the right to make these decision on your own. If you don't think Clinton would make a good president, that's awesome. I don't. I think she's a demagogue. But I reached that decision independently of my husband.

I know I've often said that I consider a mixed marriage as one between a Democrat and a Republican. If R voted for a Republican, chances are I'd be extremely mad. If he'd voted for Bush, we would have had some hard words between us. But I think there's a key difference in these situations. If R really felt that voting for a Republican was the right thing to do, I would try to change his mind. But what would bother me would be the factors leading him to make the decision to vote for a Republican--what would that say about his commitment to women's reproductive rights (and women's rights in general), the environment, our social contract with the mentally ill and children of poverty, and all the other liberal values I hold dear? In other words, I'd be extremely troubled that he felt those factors weren't important enough to influence his vote, but I wouldn't expect him to vote against his conscience just to satisfy me. In fact, I'd be angrier at him for that than I would be for him thinking that voting for a Republican was the right thing to do. (Obviously, if  Repub was willing to go to bat for all those issues, I wouldn't have a problem voting for him/her. But let's get real, shall we?)

Ladies, you have the right to make political decisions based on your beliefs. If that's going to cost you your boyfriends, those men are not worth having. If you feel, as I do, that one's political belief speak volumes about one's values and morals, then find someone who shares those values and morals. If you don't particularly care about politics, that's cool too. But don't allow someone else in your life to manipulate your vote. Don't ever make a political decision based out of fear.

Knocked Up!

So plenty of folk have been telling me I need to go see the new Judd Apatow movie "Knocked Up." I probably will wind up seeing it, because it's gotten great reviews and I loved "Forty-Year-Old Virgin."

But people are telling me that I would really enjoy it because of my "condition."

Okay.

I've never said to anyone "Hey, you're old and alone, I bet you'd totally dig Harold and Maude." Or "Hey, you seem borderline retarded, why not check out the latest Jim Carrey movie?"

This is a movie made by men, focusing on a man's experience of pregnancy. That's never been done before in Hollywood, right? I love my husband, but at this particular moment, in my condition, I'm considerably more interested in the female view of pregnancy and birth, considering that is what is going on inside MY OWN BODY. Why isn't there a movie about that? Why would I enjoy a movie replaying all the old tired "You did this to me, don't touch me" birth stereotypes, especially in my condition?

Sorry.

Sorry, it's just the hormones. From my condition.

SCOTUS upholds Late-Term Aboriton Ban

My heart is breaking.

I don't even know where I live anymore. I don't recognize anything about this place I used to call home.

No exception for health of the mother. None. So what if I'll need a kidney transplant? Permanent brain damage? Delaying chemo for 4 or 5 months? Fuck.

My government has just told me that my health holds no worth aside from my body's ability to produce a child.

At this rate, it doesn't really matter if Roe v. Wade is never overturned. They can ban abortions in this country by planning individual procedures, and then by making access to the few procedures left impossibly difficult for all but the wealthiest and most privileged of women.

Then they'll start on birth control. Even more than they already have.

Head on over to Feministing for some good commentary, including parts of Justice Ginsburg's dissent. Check out what the 2008 candidates are saying. Stop on over at Cecily's to commiserate. Drop a little green here or here to fight the good fight.

Happy Anniversary!

Today is the 34th anniversary of Roe v. Wade--34 years of a woman's right to choose! I want to be clear--I'm not celebrating abortion, I'm celebrating that I get the final say on what happens to my body. As my husband and I start thinking about starting a family eventually, it's comforting to know, that, God forbid something should awful should happen, I have the freedom to decide what is best for my family.

We all know that right is in danger. But that's not what I want to talk about. Another right may soon be in danger.

Head on over to Planned Parenthood Activists of Virginia and check out their 2007 bill chart. Pay special attention to HB 2221:

Birth Control Protection Act: Codifies the definition of birth control using the FDA definition. Also prevents birth control from being regulated by Virginia's abortion laws (mandatory 24-hour delay, state-scripted counseling, refusal clause and parental consent).

Will someone tell me why every pro-life legislator in Virginia isn't signing on to this bill? If you are against abortion (a viewpoint with which I disagree, but can understand), why on earth would you not use every resource at your disposal to prevent unwanted pregnancies?

The cold hard fact is if you take away a woman's right to decide when and if she has children, you take away women's rights. Tie a woman in the chains of her own body, and everything else becomes moot. Understand that I am not talking about fourteen year old girls, but about adult women. In my own experience, my husband would have been unable to go to graduate school if we'd been unable to use birth control--and I would have been unable to afford day care after my second child, effectively removing my choice of whether I should work outside the home or inside the home.

Using birth control save lives. See this study for information on the negative correlation of birth control and infant mortality.

We can not and should not abandon the fight to keep abortion safe and legal. But we must be aware that anti-choice foes are coming in through the back door. Check your local Planned Parenthood website to see the legislation in your state. Sign up with the Planned Parenthood Action Network to get e-mails delivered to your inbox with quick links to take immediate action. Do it for your wives, your girlfriends, your sisters, your cousins, your daughters. Do it for yourself.

Lying Liars

Stop what you're doing and go check this out.  Cecily is one of my very favorite reads, and her most recent post about Bill O'Reilly's comment that a woman's life is never in danger during pregnancy just breaks my heart.

You know what, Bill? I wish that was the case. I would adore it if no woman in the world were ever faced with choosing between continuing her life or continuing her pregnancy. I would be wild with joy if all pregnancies were easy and resulted in beautiful healthy happy babies. I would be fucking ecstatic if women like Cecily didn't have to make tough horrible impossibly hard decisions. Sadly, I live in the real world, and women do die from pregnancy complications and from childbirth.

God, he is a freakshow ignoramus of truly epic proportions.