wealhtheow

Erev Election Day

My dearest Sam,

I'm sitting here writing you this letter on the eve of the 2008 presidential election. I hear you babbling yourself down to sleep over the monitor; you are so peaceful and innocent and perfect right now. It is just five days before your first birthday, and I've spent the past month marveling at the changes this past year has wrought, not only in you, but also in me. We've learned so much about each other, and about ourselves, in the past twelve months, and our time together has been the most precious gift I've ever received. 

But that isn't what I want to talk to you about tonight. I want to talk to you about this election. Yesterday I took you with me to canvass for Barack Obama. We knocked on doors, and although almost no one was home, we talked to a couple people, including a former Republican who has become thoroughly disenchanted with his party's abysmal stance on health care and is voting for Obama. I've heard so many stories like that in the past few weeks; the eighty-something black woman who burst into tears after casting her early vote for Obama because she never thought she'd live to see the day when she would vote for a black candidate, or the seventy-six-year-old New York woman who is voting for the first time ever in a presidential election because she is afraid of what another Republican administration would mean to the people of this country. 

Sitting here tonight, I can tell you that this is the most important election of my life so far. I've heard your grandmother and your great-grandfather say the same thing. There are so many reasons why I feel it is crucial that Obama be elected president: he will support a woman's right to choose what happens to her body; he has promised to overhaul our broken health care system; he will help dig this country out of the trillions of dollars of debt by repealing tax cuts; he will restore dignity and credibility to our foreign policy; he is a highly intelligent man who is not an enemy of science; he is a man of faith who is not a zealot or the willing pawn of zealots; and as the child of a single mother who at times depended on food stamps, he can better understand the struggles of the working poor. I am not voting for Obama because he is black, but I will not lie to you; if he wins, knowing that I've helped elect the first black president of this country will be icing on the cake. Knowing that black children in this country, and especially black boys, will be able to look at our president and know that they too can aspire to the highest office in the nation makes me feel that we as a country are taking an important step in the civil rights battle. 

Most people think that Barack Obama is going to win this election, and I agree with them. But I am very aware that it is not a sure thing. I'm very nervous that we will lose this election, and live with another four to eight years of failed policy and dangerous jingoism. I don't want you growing up in a country that hates and fears homosexuals, immigrants and Muslims. I don't want you growing up in a country where many of your friends don't have health care, or where you don't have health care. I don't want you growing up in a country that seems dedicated to eliminating the middle class. I'm scared about the outcome of this election because I want to give you a better country than the one I grew up with, not a worse one.

Tomorrow I'll bring you to the polls with me, and I'll let you watch me vote, and I'll do my best to make sure everyone I know goes out and votes as well. But tonight I'm just praying that our country will make the choice that will lead to a brighter future for you.

Love always and always,

your Mummy

Small Town Values

I'm getting really sick of this notion of small-town values. I spend a good chunk of my formative years in a small town, and I loved it. I would love to get back to to a small town, and I would love to raise my kids in a small town. I like constantly running into friends, knowing all the checkers at the local supermarket, and the strong sense of community that lots of small towns have.

BUT.

Small town values and morals? People in small towns are just as nasty and hypocritical as people in cities. Growing up in a small town, I saw drug abuse, child abuse, teenage sex, and neglect. I saw people taking advantage of their neighbors. I saw theft and petty, small-minded gossip. I saw violent crimes and murder, including a 14-year-old girl.

Living in the DC metro area, I've seen good people coming together as a community. I've seen and experienced unbelievable kindness from perfect strangers and from new friends. I've met some of the most generous people in my life, and some of the most genuinely religious people. I've met people committed to living a good life, not just talking about it. I've met people I could call at 3 am if I needed to.

People are pretty much the same all over. Living in a small town doesn't protect you anymore, and living in a city is no longer the Sister Carrie den of iniquity and sin that the Republican leaders would have you believe. 

Pro-Choice is Pro-Life

This morning we were driving in* behind a car that had a bumper sticker reading "Smile! Your mother chose life!"

I'm really grateful that my mom did choose life. But I'm no less grateful that she had the choice. One of the mottos of the pro-choice movement is "Every child a wanted child." I think that's something we can all get behind.

*Yes, I've given up the ghost and we're taking the car in for my last two weeks of work. I'm too huge and cranky to deal with public transportation and the incessant awful delays that plague WMATA.

Gee, thanks Alice Paul!

I totally forgot about this until Mimi Smartypants dropped a line about "an eavesdropping session that made me feel stabby with feminist rage," and then I remembered. Feminist ranty gold!

The other day I was standing in line waiting for the bus when a woman came up to me asking me to sign a petition to get Hillary Clinton on the Virginia primary ballot. Now, Hillary has done some stuff in the past to make me not overly anxious to vote for her (bitch should have showed some ovaries and been at the March for Women's Lives), but I have enough sisterly solidarity to want to see her on the ballot, so I happily signed.

The young woman behind me in line refused to sign, which is perfectly okay. But the reason she gave got my blood boiling. "I think my boyfriend would probably kill me." The woman holding the petition said calmly, "He doesn't need to know. It's your right to decide whether to sign or not." She wound up not signing.

Lady. If you don't want to sign the petition, say so. You are entitled to make and own your decisions. If you're really not signing because your boyfriend would be mad, dump that bastard. The 19th Amendment guarantees that you have the right to make these decision on your own. If you don't think Clinton would make a good president, that's awesome. I don't. I think she's a demagogue. But I reached that decision independently of my husband.

I know I've often said that I consider a mixed marriage as one between a Democrat and a Republican. If R voted for a Republican, chances are I'd be extremely mad. If he'd voted for Bush, we would have had some hard words between us. But I think there's a key difference in these situations. If R really felt that voting for a Republican was the right thing to do, I would try to change his mind. But what would bother me would be the factors leading him to make the decision to vote for a Republican--what would that say about his commitment to women's reproductive rights (and women's rights in general), the environment, our social contract with the mentally ill and children of poverty, and all the other liberal values I hold dear? In other words, I'd be extremely troubled that he felt those factors weren't important enough to influence his vote, but I wouldn't expect him to vote against his conscience just to satisfy me. In fact, I'd be angrier at him for that than I would be for him thinking that voting for a Republican was the right thing to do. (Obviously, if  Repub was willing to go to bat for all those issues, I wouldn't have a problem voting for him/her. But let's get real, shall we?)

Ladies, you have the right to make political decisions based on your beliefs. If that's going to cost you your boyfriends, those men are not worth having. If you feel, as I do, that one's political belief speak volumes about one's values and morals, then find someone who shares those values and morals. If you don't particularly care about politics, that's cool too. But don't allow someone else in your life to manipulate your vote. Don't ever make a political decision based out of fear.

SCOTUS upholds Late-Term Aboriton Ban

My heart is breaking.

I don't even know where I live anymore. I don't recognize anything about this place I used to call home.

No exception for health of the mother. None. So what if I'll need a kidney transplant? Permanent brain damage? Delaying chemo for 4 or 5 months? Fuck.

My government has just told me that my health holds no worth aside from my body's ability to produce a child.

At this rate, it doesn't really matter if Roe v. Wade is never overturned. They can ban abortions in this country by planning individual procedures, and then by making access to the few procedures left impossibly difficult for all but the wealthiest and most privileged of women.

Then they'll start on birth control. Even more than they already have.

Head on over to Feministing for some good commentary, including parts of Justice Ginsburg's dissent. Check out what the 2008 candidates are saying. Stop on over at Cecily's to commiserate. Drop a little green here or here to fight the good fight.

Happy Anniversary!

Today is the 34th anniversary of Roe v. Wade--34 years of a woman's right to choose! I want to be clear--I'm not celebrating abortion, I'm celebrating that I get the final say on what happens to my body. As my husband and I start thinking about starting a family eventually, it's comforting to know, that, God forbid something should awful should happen, I have the freedom to decide what is best for my family.

We all know that right is in danger. But that's not what I want to talk about. Another right may soon be in danger.

Head on over to Planned Parenthood Activists of Virginia and check out their 2007 bill chart. Pay special attention to HB 2221:

Birth Control Protection Act: Codifies the definition of birth control using the FDA definition. Also prevents birth control from being regulated by Virginia's abortion laws (mandatory 24-hour delay, state-scripted counseling, refusal clause and parental consent).

Will someone tell me why every pro-life legislator in Virginia isn't signing on to this bill? If you are against abortion (a viewpoint with which I disagree, but can understand), why on earth would you not use every resource at your disposal to prevent unwanted pregnancies?

The cold hard fact is if you take away a woman's right to decide when and if she has children, you take away women's rights. Tie a woman in the chains of her own body, and everything else becomes moot. Understand that I am not talking about fourteen year old girls, but about adult women. In my own experience, my husband would have been unable to go to graduate school if we'd been unable to use birth control--and I would have been unable to afford day care after my second child, effectively removing my choice of whether I should work outside the home or inside the home.

Using birth control save lives. See this study for information on the negative correlation of birth control and infant mortality.

We can not and should not abandon the fight to keep abortion safe and legal. But we must be aware that anti-choice foes are coming in through the back door. Check your local Planned Parenthood website to see the legislation in your state. Sign up with the Planned Parenthood Action Network to get e-mails delivered to your inbox with quick links to take immediate action. Do it for your wives, your girlfriends, your sisters, your cousins, your daughters. Do it for yourself.

Where do we go from here?

To answer that question, I'm pointing you to the very awesome Mary Scott O'Connor. Check out her thoughts on what the average progressive needs to do after this week's stunning victories in the House and Senate and let me know what you think.

My brown eyes are blue today!

I'm uber-busy today, but I couldn't resist gloating about this, or this, or this. I'm also especially happy to note that South Dakota's draconic ban on all abortions with no exception for the health of the mother has failed, as have measures in California and Orgeon requiring parental notification before a minor obtains an abortion. The Oregon measure was particularly horrifying in that it  specifically dictated victims of rape and incest would nto be excempted from the requirement.

I woke up this morning to a Democratic House, and next month, when the VA vote is certified, I full expect to wake up to a Democratic Senate as well. Two years ago, after the 2004 elections, I felt completely betrayed by my country, as if my most deeply held values were considered insignificant by large numbers of my fellow citizens. Today all that bitterness is gone.

Dems, you rock and you conducted disciplined and focused campaigns all over the country. Please don't loose that focus in the next two years. Keep your eyes on the prize--turning red states blue!!

Lying Liars

Stop what you're doing and go check this out.  Cecily is one of my very favorite reads, and her most recent post about Bill O'Reilly's comment that a woman's life is never in danger during pregnancy just breaks my heart.

You know what, Bill? I wish that was the case. I would adore it if no woman in the world were ever faced with choosing between continuing her life or continuing her pregnancy. I would be wild with joy if all pregnancies were easy and resulted in beautiful healthy happy babies. I would be fucking ecstatic if women like Cecily didn't have to make tough horrible impossibly hard decisions. Sadly, I live in the real world, and women do die from pregnancy complications and from childbirth.

God, he is a freakshow ignoramus of truly epic proportions.

Jim Webb for Senate, or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Have Hope Again

Count me as off the Straight Talk Express.

I used to be a fan of McCain, but his constant toadying is really starting to chap my hide, and this comment is the final straw. McCain would commit suicide if the Dems regained control of Congress. Because the Republicans have been doing such a bang-up job, eh buddy? Fiscal responsibility? Check. Responsible foreign policy? Check. Preventing nuclear proliferation? Check.

The Bush Administration and its Congressional cronies have the anti-Midas touch--everything they come into contact with turns foul and rotten. The Republican party in its current incarnation is a party that wants to deny marriage to homosexuals while hiding a sexual predator in its ranks. It is a party that uses fear to keep the electorate in line. It is a country that only cares about the threat of terrorism when it is politically expedient to do so, while pandering to religious extremism within this country. It is a party that cares next to nothing for women, for minorities, for immigrants and for the poor. It is a party that wishes to outlaw abortion, but it is also a party that wishes to eliminate or restrict various methods of contraception, including adequate sex education for our young people. It is a party that holds the rights of the unborn in high esteem, yet consistently restricts funding programs designed to help needy children. It is a party that declaims vociferously about the sanctity of life, yet displays a wanton callousness regarding the number of civilians killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. It is a party that actively suppresses scientific studies on a wide array of subjects, including stem cell research, women's health and the environment. It is a party full of corrupt men who have no shame about their corruption.

And it is a party that loyal and patriotic citizens are leaving in droves. One such loyal and patriotic citizen is Jim Webb. Electing Webb will send a message to the current administration: this country will not tolerate corruption and cronyism and fear-mongering. Electing Webb will send a message that we demand change, that we demand honesty and that we demand accountability. Electing Webb will send a message that Virginians are not represented by the racist, homophobic and reactionary views of George Allen. Allen doesn't speak for me, he doesn't speak for Virginia, and he doesn't speak for America. Let's make sure our message is heard loud and clear in Congress and in the White House.

Vote.

Vote.

Vote.